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How to
smuggle a prosciutto
In the
early 1970s, when my father was visiting his cousins in Trieste, they
all decided to visit their other cousins in Fiume. Off they went,
travelling through the countryside finally reaching Fiume. The Fiumani
cousins were their usual friendly selves - offering food, wine and other
fine goodies.
My
father's cousin offered him a wonderful prosciutto and told him to take
this back to Australia. My father told him that he couldn't take it back
because of the strict quarantine controls. His cousin from Trieste added
that meat products could not be brought into Italy from Croatia.
After
much deliberation (and arguments) they decided to bring back the
prosciutto.
Before reaching the border, my father's
cousin stopped the car, got out of his seat, placed the prosciutto on
the driver's seat, slipped a towel over the prosciutto, sat on the
prosciutto and proceeded for the border.
The
Croatians had no problem letting him through.
The
Italian border guard (the usual Southern type - which the Northerners
dislike and love to tease with their dry wit) asked in a broad Sicilian
accent, "Avete qualche cosa d'ichiarare?" (trans: "Do you have anything
to declare?") My father's cousin replied, "Si, un grande prosciutto
sotto il cullo!" (trans: "Yes, a giant proscuitto under my ass!") The
border guard said that he had no time for jokes and let them through.
Eddy Ciciriello |